


i'm begging you to keep on (haunting me)

by andromeda3116



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: 1 Sentence Fiction, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-09 23:32:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10424256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromeda3116/pseuds/andromeda3116
Summary: He once told herwelcome home, and she still thinks, will always think -- even years and years later -- that he will never know how much those two stupid words meant to her.[Jyn/Cassian, one-sentence prompts.]





	

**Author's Note:**

> so i was (somehow) reminded of the onesentence community on livejournal, and i was like "!!! i should do a jyn/cassian one-sentence claim!" and so i did. the idea is, you get fifty prompts, and you write one sentence for each prompt. ~~i blame this comm pretty much entirely for my love affair with run-on sentences.~~ i decided to try it, in an attempt to address my current writer's block. it should be clear, but i rearranged them into chronological order.

_‘cause i’ve done some things that i can’t speak, and i tried to wash you away, but you just won’t leave_  
_so won’t you take a breath and dive in deep, ‘cause i came here so you’d come for me_  
.  
.  
.

**#37 - Technology**

Her file could never have prepared him for the woman behind the name Jyn Erso – the file said _volatile, self-serving, former Partisan_ … but the woman he meets after Melshi’s team extracts her from Wobani is something else entirely.

**#19 - Wind**

She remembers Jedha in fragments and moments, rather than scenes and facts: she remembers the cold, and the child she saved (only to let die an hour later), and the biting wind and the way that Cassian always seemed to position himself between her and the worst of it – even at that point, even at that early stage, even in that small way, he was always trying to shield her.

**#25 - Devotion**

It will never stop baffling Jyn, that he comes back for her, has always come back for her – when he could have, should have left, when he had orders and when he had all the lessons twenty years of military had taught him; when he could have left her behind a thousand times and never hesitated, he came back for her anyway, pulled her out and carried her out and dragged her out and led her out and – it will never seem reasonable, it will never make sense.

**#33 - Fear**

The only time she ever sees him afraid is when she takes a blaster bolt to the side and hits the ground, and he runs to her heedless of the danger and heedless of who sees him, calling her name and grabbing her by the shoulders and begging her to respond to him.

**#02 - Kiss**

The first time is unintentional and unromantic: they need an excuse to be in a supply closet, and she meets his eyes and the doorknob starts to turn and so she grabs him by the shirt and pulls his lips to hers – and so there’s no time to feel anything about it except panic.

**#42 - Clouds**

They make it out of atmo with difficulty, burning hard through a storm, and she and him stand on either side of Bodhi in the pilot seat, hand on either shoulder, watching as lightning flashes and the clouds close in around them – and they both trust Bodhi, but they both watch, and when they finally break through the clouds to bright star-shine on the other side, the pilot gives them a brilliant smile.

**#03 - Soft**

She’s known him for a year before she realizes that he has dimples, a fact which fascinates and delights her almost as much as it embarrasses him.

**#05 - Potatoes**

“No, no, no,” she explains, the three glasses of Corellian wine chasing half-formed thoughts out of her mind, “I’m telling you, Kaytoo is the potato of the Rogues, he’s like – “ she looks up, to see Han looking outright confused and Cassian fighting a bemused laugh, and mulishly plunges forward, “he’s the starch, he’s like, he’s – he’s the base, but we’re the – we’re the spices.”

**#18 - Speed**

“Yes!” she crows, slamming the glass down with a brilliant grin as both Cassian and Han finish their drinks after her, coughing and choking back laughs, “Beat the both of you!”

**#24 - Taste**

The alcohol is bitter and drying on her tongue as she catches Han’s eye but turns away too slowly; she sees Cassian already turned away.

**#32 - Confusion**

He doesn’t like it, but it seems obvious – half of him says he’s being stupid, but the other half scoffs _well, obviously_ – but she and Han seem to connect on so many levels, to just _click_ and to just fit with each other so perfectly, and so maybe he’s a little meaner to the smuggler than is really justified.

**#22 - Jealousy**

“Han?” she asks incredulously, and he doesn’t look her in the face, which is as good as a confession, “You really thought I was sleeping with _Han?_ ”

**#09 - Telephone**

“Everyone was talking about it,” he grumbles, looking away and crossing his arms, “how the two of you are… close.”

**#43 - Sky**

Everything else about Hoth aside, it has the best skies – crystal-blue and wide-open from horizon to horizon, and even though Jyn shivers and ducks into the base every chance she gets, Cassian (born on a frozen planet) loves to watch the sun set and paint the whole snowscape red.

**#47 - Moon**

Hoth has three moons, flitting across the sky in such a way that they’re only all visible at a certain moment during the night, a few times a standard year, but when they do, the snowfield is bright like day, and that – that few minutes, every few months, is Cassian’s favorite moment on this god-awful planet, so Jyn (grumbling to herself all the way) makes sure to set an alarm so she can wake up to see it with him.

**#28 - Sickness**

“You know,” he says, watching her where she’s curled up in the bed like a caterpillar in its chrysalis and glaring at him, “if you had gone to the medbay when I first told you to, you wouldn’t be feeling like this now.”

**#20 - Freedom**

This whole fight is about freedom, it’s about the nebulous concept of choice, of independence, of being able to choose your own fate; it’s strange, then, that she feels like she’s been pulled along by destiny this whole time, like destiny has pulled her into the fight against itself.

**#06 - Rain**

Eadu haunts her as she runs up to him, blaster wound in his gut – possibly fatal, maybe not – the rain pelting her, the helplessness, the Imperial surroundings and the rebel ship, the sense of everything she’s ever hoped for crashing around her; it’s the rain, she tells herself, it’s just the way the rain is hitting her face, it’s just like when she watched her father die.

**#27 - Blood**

“You’re gonna be okay,” she says fervently, holding her hands over the wound, and he’s too dazed with blood loss to attend, but she keeps talking anyway, voice rising with every word, “you’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay, _you’re gonna be okay_.”

**#04 - Pain**

“You are not gonna die on me, you are not gonna do this to me,” she snaps through gritted teeth, and maybe it’s her words or maybe he’s just found some well of inner strength, but he pulls himself up higher and makes an effort to walk toward the ship with what little energy he has left.

**#16 - Weakness**

He’s collapsing against her by the time she makes it into the cargo bay screaming for help, _help, a medic, please, anybody_ – and for a moment she feels the horrible crushing knowledge, that she is about to lose him.

**#45 - Hell**

The medic loses him for a moment, the monitor flatlining, and Baze has to hold her back, as she screams over and over, _no no no no no no –_

**#13 - Death**

The medic loses him for a moment, and he slips – away, away, into darkness and into light, and he catches a shadowy glimpse of his mother, so long dead, flanked by all the faces he’s killed (but they’re welcoming, not angry), and they’re all beckoning him forward, but all he can hear is Jyn’s voice screaming _no no no no no no_ – and he can’t take the step toward them.

**#23 - Hands**

Chirrut takes her hand as the medic works, and he whispers to her _the force is with me, I am one with the force_ , until she repeats it with him and her eyes fall closed, and she allows herself to hope for something foolish, something impossible, something she can’t have –

**#21 - Life**

“He’ll make it,” the medic sighs, leaning heavily against the wall, the worst part over, “he’ll have to go into bacta for a day or so, but… you know, barring any catastrophes, he should be fine.”

**#17 - Tears**

_That_ is when Jyn starts to cry: when she knows that he will survive, and not a second before.

**#01 - Comfort**

The screaming in her mind, the nightmare, the boiling sea and splitting earth – vanishes in a gasp when he wakes her up and pulls her close to him, whispering _it’s okay, it’s okay, you’re here, I’m here, it’s okay_.

**#12 - Sensual**

She is the absolute, literal worst at being sexy – even when she almost pulls it off, she can’t stop herself from laughing at how stupid it all feels – but it’s okay, because he’s spent so much of his life being false that anything except Jyn herself, as she is, is a turn-off.

**#10 - Ears**

There’s a spot on her neck just below her ear, that when he puts even the smallest amount of pressure on it, she reacts like she’s been electrified, hands scrabbling at his back and her gasps in his ear.

**#44 - Heaven**

He’s between her legs and she doesn’t even know what it is that he’s doing with his tongue, but _god_ – she’s blacking out and she’s losing control and his eyes on her face and he’s _watching_ and –

**#14 - Sex**

He’s a generous and affectionate lover, which are both completely alien to Jyn – used to quick fucks in cheap inns and back rooms – and at first she honestly doesn’t even know how to react after (do you thank him? do you just sort of cuddle? or are you supposed to immediately reciprocate? or…?)

**#15 - Touch**

The answer, she learns, at least with him, is to get close and cuddle: he’s surprisingly tactile, he likes touching her, he loves being touched by her, and so she gives into her basest instincts (which every lesson she’s ever learned screams against) and pulls him close to her, close enough that she’s completely flush with him, and she sleeps like the dead in his arms.

**#40 - Innocence**

They both think the other is innocent compared to themselves.

**#11 - Name**

His name, she discovers one idle day, means “empty” or “robbed” and it bothers her how accurate it is, even though by his own admission, his parents just liked the sound of it.

**#35 - Bonds**

She’s never believed in destiny, in soulmates, in that Force-bond bullshit that Chirrut seems to swear by, but… at the same time…

**#08 - Happiness**

He asks her in the dead of night, so late that she wonders if he actually expected an answer, or if he just thought she was asleep and was just whispering his hopes to the stars, but when he murmurs, _stay with me, marry me_ , her heart leaps into her throat and she can’t fight back a smile.

**#26 - Forever**

It’s just words, she thinks, it’s just a certificate, it’s just a note in their files, _married to_ – but for all that she’s spent her life carving sentimentality out of her bones with a knife, she can’t stop looking at them, all the same.

**#48 - Waves**

It’s not much of a honeymoon – Draven had described it as a milk-run, easy for two people, hardly anything, and that had been as close to a wedding gift as they would ever get from the Alliance high command – but it’s a beach and it’s the two of them alone in a room together for a couple of weeks, and she thinks she will burn this moment into her memory, standing in the wavebrake with his arms around her, ignoring their duties for the moment, ignoring their jobs for the moment and enjoying the feeling of water on her calves and Cassian’s arms around her waist, and it is everything she has ever wanted from a single moment.

**#39 - Smile**

His smile is distracting, it draws her eye, it fills up the room – it’s so rare, it’s so genuine when he actually, truly smiles because he’s just happy, it’s something he does so rarely that people who have been in the rebellion since the start have never seen it – but he does it when he’s with her, and she feels this glow in her chest like a little sun has ignited.

**#07 - Chocolate**

“You can only get it on a few core worlds,” he explains, handing her the bar of dark brown… _stuff_ , and she looks up at him, with an eyebrow raised, “I think you’ll like it.”

**#36 - Market**

Her eyes light on the dress, in spite of herself – it’s something sultry and slinky, with silk and satin, deep crimson, the kind of dress that even Jyn, who generally could not give less of a shit how men see her, finds alluring – and she could swear that he is looking in the entire other direction, but when she gets back to her room it’s there, hanging on the door.

**#38 - Gift**

“It was on sale,” he lies, because she’s got that guilty-happy look on her face where she doesn’t want to accept the good thing that’s happened to her, and, well… he would _really like_ to see her in that dress, himself, so it’s a win-win.

**#29 - Melody**

He can actually sing really, really well, but only when he thinks nobody is around to hear him.

**#49 - Hair**

Her favorite thing – her _favorite_ thing – is when she’s falling asleep next to him and he’s toying with her hair carelessly, like he just wants to touch her with no ulterior motive, no other reason except to touch her and feel something of her in his fingers.

**#34 - Lightning/Thunder**

Storms have never frightened her; she flinches, though, when the thunder strikes, loud and close enough to startle her awake, and he absently – absently, because he’s asleep, but even in his sleep he still wants to make her better – pulls her closer to him.

**#46 - Sun**

Tatooine has two suns, and when they set they light the sky on fire, orange and red and yellow, and it might just be the first sunset she’s ever just stood and watched, with his arms around her and his lips on her temple, and in this moment, she understands why her mother went back for Galen on Lah’mu.

**#30 - Star**

“It’s the conservation of energy,” she explains one night, in the darkness and the quiet and the soft silence, “all the atoms in our bodies were made in stars, and were dispersed in space when those stars died, and… we’re all stardust, he would tell me,” she goes on, very softly, “that energy never went away, the energy that once made stars burn is inside me, I am stardust.”

**#41 - Completion**

Endor is wide and blue in the sky when the second Death Star falls, huge like a moon and bright like a sun, and she watches the fragments of the Empire fall like meteors in the sky, and all she can feel is a kind of cold sadness, a completion and an absolution and an uncertainty for what the future will be.

**#50 - Supernova**

Every element is formed in a supernova, when a star too large for its own mass explodes, brilliant energy and wild power slingling elements off into the cosmos, and this – he thinks this is what Galen was really describing when he called her “stardust” – this power, this energy, this awe and this unfathomable creation – this is what he meant, this is what she is.

**#31 - Home**

He once told her _welcome home_ , and she still thinks, will always think – even years and years later – that he will never know how much those two stupid words meant to her.


End file.
